I want to make an entire website with hell trio content at some point but also I’m lazy and my blog exists. So, here we are.
This content is the collaborative effort of several friends and it has brought me sincere joy over the past 4-5 years. We’ve spent almost half a decade creating fics, art, music and just chatting animatedly about it. We’ve made this shit to annoy and delight each other. It’s cringe and I love it.
To kick this off, here’s a quick FAQ:
Who are the hell trio?
The hell trio, or ye olde brimstone trifecta, are exaggerated caricatures of the most irritating aspects of writers Thoreau, Melville, and Lord Byron. We imagined the three as modern day hipsters, living in Portland, Oregon running a bookstore and craft kombucha bar called Ascending Circles.
What is the hell trio extended alternative universe?
The hell trio extended AU includes a fictional present day version of Portland, Oregon and Seattle, Washington and is occupied by a host of revolving characters entirely made up or pulled from history, philosophy, or classical lit.
Occasionally present day folks will make it into the mix as peripheral characters but we will probably call them something completely different.
What is the cardinal rule of the AU?
This is quite simple: Gordy cannot get laid. Under no circumstance will Gordy bang, fuck, suck, give pleasure, or be pleasured — unless he’s pleasuring himself.
If Gordy lands some ass the universe divides by zero and the entire thing blinks out of existence.
This is important for the sanity of all involved and also the true and right karmic balance after having to read shit about Lord Byron’s greasy ass nearly dying of dehydration during his continental debauch tours. NOPE. GET THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT SHIT.
But y tho?
Word nerds. It all started with “If I had a time machine I would fight Lord Byron” and really got out of control from there.