Quarterly read: Last quarter, May 2020

It’s time for another tarot read & I’m still struggling to get the video set up clinched. So, here’s another blog-based reading.

Here are some notes from my last post in case you missed it:

In the past I’ve mostly done drunk tarot readings with friends on sabbats. But since we are no longer able to meet up, I plan to offer somewhat sober online readings weekly, by the moon cycle. I’m a little behind as the Flower Moon was actually on the 7th, but I’ll try to be a little early next week.

For me, tarot is super fucking fun. Here are all these random symbols, archetypes & you have to try to weave a story out of it. & sometimes that story functions — like myriad other narratives — as a mirror allowing you to see your own situation from another perspective.

It’s fucking brilliant & I love it, but it’s entertainment, it’s storytelling. While I consider myself a fairly intuitive & empathetic human being, I’m nothing special. I claim no particular talent & in general, I know nothing.

I tend to read in a way that emphasizes positive growth & try to offer a couple of different interpretations to make room for different philosophical or spiritual perspectives. However, I’m not interested in writing a novel-length interpretations, so my advice is to take what best suits you & leave the rest behind.

Note: These readings are very freeform & I’m probably only going to go back through & edit as needed, so if you see a typo or a sentence that does not make sense please let me know. Since I tend to ramble, I will include a TLDR version at the end.

The readings

This week’s cards were laid out on my art table because I’m lazy.

I’ve organized the readings by zodiac element — simply because it left me with four clean reading options. The elements are: Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagitarius); Earth (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn); Air (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius); and Water (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces).

If you’re anti-astrology, you are welcome to just pick a pile & roll with it. Or you can select the reading for your rising or moon sign if you’re feeling that more at the moment.

Really, it doesn’t matter. We’re just going to find a story in the cards, have a chat about it, & see if it’s relevant or maybe just laugh at my complete inability to even begin to thread the needle.

Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagitarius)

The cards I drew were:

The first card in the spread is Jupiter. Jupiter symbolizes expansion, luck, confidence & optimism. Its astrological ruler is Sagittarius & exaltation is Cancer. So the archetypes here are intellectual/creative development (Sagittarius) & emotional evolution (Cancer).

The next card in the spread is waning moon, which happens to sync up with our current cycle. The waning moon is about letting go of things that aren’t working out for you, tearing down old structures, & exploring the shadow side of your personality or work.

Looking at these two cards as indicators as to where the read is going, I can pull a couple of things out immediately.

First, there is a need to really look how your creative processes & emotions interact & make a call on if your current process is healthy. I feel called out immediately because I will purposefully put myself into horrible moods to write certain things & with everything going on right now, it’s not as easy to right myself afterward. It’s a method of working I’ve had to pass on for the time being.

The other point is that with the sync up in the moon cycle, it feels like a particularly advantageous moment to perform this self-reflection. I personally feel that any time is a good time to realize something isn’t working but realize that perhaps I’d be more receptive to change in certain moments vs. others.

As we move into the tarot, all three cards are in reverse. This feels like a lot of blocked energy & taking the first two cards into consideration, there’s a particular feeling of creative block caused by emotional issues. Cards read in reverse can have several meanings but as I go through I’m going to lean into what feels most likely based on the surrounding cards.

First, we have The Queen of Cups in reverse. Upright, this Queen is particularly compassionate and intuitive to the outer world, her presence can even indicate reciprocated feelings in a love reading. Due to the emotional focus of this read it feels a lot like blocked love — be it romantic, familial, friendly, or even self-love. Denying your feelings can be an effective cover if you’re afraid of rejection or attachment, however it can have a heavy psychological toll, because as the saying goes, “The heart wants what it wants…” Keep in mind that the Queen’s energy is that of reciprocated love, so if you’re afraid of rejection it may not be the problem you think it is.

The Seven of Cups, especially in the reverse is an indicator of daydreaming instead of making a choice. You may think you have a lot of choices available to you — perhaps it’s even true that you do — but when we take into account the Queen of Cups in reverse, it’s likely that you have sat on some crucial decision while trying to deny your feelings.

The Page of Wands in reverse — in the context of the other cards — reads both as confirmation of inaction & as perhaps a clue. There is an element of movement, travel, & following your passion that this page represents. When in the reverse, especially with the surrounding cards, it feels like being grounded when you may have had plans to go toward whatever you’re currently waffling on. This is such a likely situation in a global pandemic, it’s almost too easy.

The final oracle card says: “I witness the darkness and call on the light with my prayer: Thank you universe, for guiding me to perceive this fear through the eyes of the teacher of love.” Though these cards are sometimes hokey & sometimes wander into the fray of areas I’m not particularly comfortable with as a bit of an agnostic pagan, the meaning shines through & blends nicely with the rest of the reading. The time has come for you to really examine the shadow sides of your behaviors, your emotions, & evaluate how they have affected your mental health & creative processes. It’s a good time for you to let go of any insecurities & move forward with conviction. & with that I wish you the deepest & most sincere luck.

TLDR: We can sometimes manipulate our emotional state with good intentions, yet these tampered emotions are often out of alignment with who we are & what we wish to do. The time has come to really examine the shadow sides of your behaviors & emotions, & evaluate how they have affected your mental health & creative processes. It’s a good time for you to let go of any insecurities & move forward with conviction.

Earth (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn)

The cards I drew were:

We begin with the moon. The moon is representative of the divine feminine archetype, of natural cycles, & of mystery & intuition. Followed up by New Moon in Capricorn, I feel pulled toward the cyclical representation — new moon is the beginning of a new cycle, which indicates the end of the previous. This is a card of transit & in some ways perhaps “leveling up.”

We ended up with four tarot cards this week & I’m just going to roll with it.

The Ace of Cups is also a card of beginning a new cycle. Cups represent emotions, & the ace is often read with romantic connotation, the sparks of a new love. But the ace is the promise before anything manifests, just as the spark precedes any flame. In this particular reading, I see it more as a promise that things will get better & that good things lie ahead.

How far ahead? Well, with the Knight of Pentacles it could take awhile — but you are moving steadily toward it. The Knight of Pentacles is practical, steadfast, & constant movement. While he’s the slowest of the knights, he’s also the best prepared. He’s also bringing something tangible along with him — earthly pentacles tend to represent manifestation, money, or career progress.

And now we get into the weeds of the reading. The Lovers can represent divine partnership, balance, or a decision. In reverse, it can represent sleeping on or neglecting one of those representations. With the prevailing theme of cycles, the best read I can really feel out is that you’re struggling to end a tough cycle & begin with something new & promising because you cannot make a decision. This is likely involving romance or self-love with the Ace of Cups involved.

The King of Swords upright talks about being clear & blunt. In reverse, there’s perhaps a little cruelty indicated, which leads me to believe that perhaps the situation that you are navigating has a potential to become slightly contentious. I would read this reversed king as a warning to come at the situation with good intentions. If you must make a hard decision to act authentically in a romantic situation or even to best care for yourself & your mental health, there are always kind ways of dealing with the fallout.

You may never fully avoid hurting people invested in the situation, but kindly explaining your decision & expressing your feelings openly & authentically is likely to soften the blow.

& we end on the oracle: “The moment I realign with love, clear direction is presented to me.” This read has been broad & could be talking about anything from a breakup to backing out of an event or project because you’re overbooked. But with whatever you do, make sure you have put the thought in & are acting with good intent, as long as you act with love, the path to the best possible future will be obvious.

TLDR: You are being called to make a decision that will cause the end of a cycle, as you move toward something that promises a prosperous new beginning. Move deliberately & clearly, with good intention, careful to curb any contention as you wrap things up. If you act with kind intentions, the path forward will be clear.

Air (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius)

The cards I drew were:

We kick it off with an air sign energy, Libra. Libra is the aesthetic darling of the zodiac, it has the sensibility of the romantic era — beautiful & in love with the beauty around it. Libra is also idealistic & focused on balance & fairness. The challenge with all things beautiful & idealistic is to not get lost in the stillness of contemplation.

& with that we move onto New Moon in Libra, “A new romantic cycle begins.” We can read this a couple of ways. Romance is idealistic, connective energy that doesn’t necessarily have to deal with personal relationships. However…

The rest of the spread is pushy. The Emperor is a major arcana that symbolizes the divine masculine & on the surface the Four of Wands can indicate soul-level romantic connection or even marriage, with the Six of Wands signifying victory & celebration. My brain, completely smooth from watching too many YouTube readings, immediately wants to jump to: this is it, motherfuckers. Someone is coming in or around to create this new romantic beginning (it doesn’t necessary have to be someone new, but, perhaps, someone with a new perspective).

But that’s just one interpretation & it feels cheap if I’m being honest. So, let’s dig a bit…

The Emperor is stoic and powerful, he represents authority and stability. This could signify an external someone, sure. Or even represent the stallwort & foundational nature of a connection. UGH. But it could also represent the querent coming into their own power. It could represent the ability to define those romantic sensibilities that move you, the ability to set healthy borders both in work & interpersonal endeavors. It could also represent acting with confidence & authority.

The Six of Wands could indicate breakthrough. That when you approach your work or interpersonal situation with your newfound confidence, authority, or boundaries, you may find something moving that was before blocked.

The Four of Wands is a card of solid foundations — but it can also talk about celebration around something milestone-worthy. Perhaps your breakthrough will be worth celebrating — or at least a milestone you can use to help guide the goals that you’re building toward afterward.

Finally, we have the oracle: “I surrender to a power greater than me.” This invites you to do the work & let it go. It’s easy to remain in your head about everything. Hell, air energy is intellectual swords energy & cards eight through ten represent the sorts of mental hells we build for ourselves. Letting go takes practice, do the work, let go, & see what comes back around.

TLDR: Be confident in the things you do, put the work in, & then let it go. Being able to create, learn, & let go will help you build a solid foundation for future endeavors. Refuse to be endlessly in your head about every single thing you do. Romance may be a thing this week & if it is it’s likely to be significant.

Water (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)

The cards I drew were:

By the time I get to water, I admittedly just want this fucking thing to be done & I’m sorry… I get so excited to do the draws until I start reading & remember how endlessly exhausting the reads can be.

Anyway, I’m still here with my coffee & I got a little sleep & I’m going to do my best to publish this before noon on the day of the last quarter. Let’s go!

We open with Aquarius, an air energy, so this is fast moving, intellectual energy. Aquarius represents big ideas, originality, & intellectual exploration.

Paired with a watery New Moon in Pisces, “Meditate and contemplate,” the first impression I get from this spread is that it’s time to go within.

The Ten of Swords upright is one of the more unpleasant energies of the tarot deck, symbolizing a particularly painful ending. But the thing about the swords suit, & in my estimation of 8-10 especially, is that the pain they are symbolizing is often self-inflicted. The 10 of Swords is the completion of the suit, the darkest part of the night before the dawn.

In reverse, especially with the surrounding cards, I’m seeing this as something you are working on releasing. Right now is not the easiest for any of us & if you’re someone that relates to the archetype of heavy water placements, you’re probably having a particularly rough time because water is emotional & focused on connection. The first step to working with these feelings is probably just to acknowledge them, allow yourself to feel them & know they are valid. But then move on. There is a full host of air energy indicated in this spread (Aquarius, Gemini (10 of swords), Libra (Justice)), & I feel that as advice. It’s normal to have deep feelings & reflect on them (water), but it’s healthy to learn what you can from them & then let them go (air).

Justice is about striking a balance. If you are struggling with depression during isolation, perhaps you need to find ways to balance the habits that have been knocked sideways by the drastic changes you have been coping with.

I, the arch scattered Gemini cliche, started doing papercraft & junk journals on top of everything else. I started because I wanted to send fun letters to friends & fam & then realized that, though I suck at consistent journaling, it is incredibly helpful with keeping my head in the game right now. Also, cutting, pasting, painting gradients, & doodling for myself or friends is a lot less mentally stressful than working on something I’ve put a lot of creative effort into.

However, I am still slowly editing a long-form fiction project at the moment & it feels a lot like a face-to-face conversation with old friends as old friends. Which is weird, but kind of cathartic in the isolation scenario.

My point is, do whatever feels right or interesting for you & create new routines, then keep adjusting until you find that balance.

Finally we have the Page of Pentacles. This particular page signifies learning & studiousness in particular. The Pentacles are earth energy & the page archetype is the youngest in the court — so it’s easy to read as doing the research, putting the work in, & laying down the foundation to make your goals tangible. In this particular spread this feels a lot like exploring options, setting soft goals, & creating tangible plans to move toward them.

Finally, we have the oracle card: “Instead of praying for an outcome, I pray for the highest good for all.” I’d take this as advice to let go of the outcome & work toward the good. This is especially important when setting goals. Aim to make things better, not to reach something particularly lofty.

TLDR: There is a balance to be struck here & you know how to get there, even if you don’t know know it yet. Explore things you are interested in, plan routines, set reasonable goals, social isolation won’t last forever & we’re all in it. Feel & release your negative feelings, if need be jot them down in a journal. Overall, shift your focus on feeling & being better rather than reaching a lofty goal.

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