This is the first of three articles about how my philosophical & spiritual ideas inform my creative work. I’m writing these in spring of 2020 in the throes of isolation, presented with a unique opportunity to sit with my thoughts.
I know it’s the middle of Camp NaNoWriMo & National Poetry Month. I know I should be sticking to the things I have set goals for. But the twin influence of isolation & immersion in my projects has my roots itching. & so I’m going to freewrite a bit about why I am the insufferable way I am & why I love all the people who do the things they do.
I’m promising no specific organization & stumble forward with the rustiest non-fic organizational instinct remembered from my days of working at a community newspaper.
The good news is that this blog is in large an exercise of how much of my voice the void can swallow. & if you are out there in the void making your own shit, I love you and here’s why…
I’m going to stick with my original plan and call my day where I am in the prompts/goals & spill over into May.
I’m still adjusting to this new schedule — having just adjusted to the old-new schedule. I have no outside help (by this I mostly mean food service which it turns out I was more dependent upon than I realized) & grocery service is patchy here, a problem exacerbated by people panic buying gluten-free items when the bread runs out & the stores not in a huge hurry to restock the specialty items.
Also, this all happened in spring & I rent a double-wide on its own lot. So, landscaping is my responsibility. Which is usually fine & enjoyable, but it’s one more thing on top of a thousand others while struggling with the basics.
Also, it’s full moon today so I have certain things I do by the moon cycle that are also eating at my time.
Anyway, I hope all is well wherever you are & I’ll go ahead & get rolling on this.
Though I’m trying to stay positive, today has been a tough one.
I’m pretty open about my feelings when it comes to the arts. I would talk anyone into trying anything, even if just for the discovery to be found in the process.
But I struggle pretty hard against my own feelings of inadequacy. I know my efforts are artless at best & this constant trudging onward can feel like self-flagellation regardless my deeply-held beliefs that apply to literally everyone but me.
It’s shitty, it’s hypocritical, but I can’t help what I feel.
Between the emo & dealing with an ongoing chronic illness flare, it’s been a whole day.
Anyway, I’m going to try to push through, so let’s go…
I’m not feeling particularly creative lately & plugging away at these projects has already become a bit of a chore because — holy fuck the world is burning I just want to lay in bed and scream most of the time.
But I’m getting through it & just finishing the Twine project alone would be a huge win. I’ve been trolling my friends with pieces of that story for months, but didn’t realize what a huge undertaking it was. I’m guessing I will have close to 100 individual sections by the time I’m through.
Hey, I’m still rolling with this writing challenge shit. Not giving up just yet!
Today our governor, Jay Inslee, extended the “Stay home, stay healthy” restrictions (a fluffy, upbeat shelter in place order) through May 4. So, it seems I’ve little better to do for the rest of the month.
While Seattle is slowing down, it seems like eastern Washington is gearing up. And while it pains me to say it — I expect it will be a lot worse here because the few times I have gone out to pick up groceries I was really annoyed at what I saw. People are out everywhere acting as if nothing is wrong — heavy traffic, crowded sidewalks, huge groups of people clustered together without even homemade masks…
Hopefully, I’m just being a joyless asshole, but I have a nagging feeling I’m not and there will be real hell to pay for this.
Anyway, onward to the art that shall distract me from the misery of it all…
I plan to write daily posts — *slaps roof of blog* this baby can fit so much weird laugh-crying, is this art? But is it, motherfucker?
Luckily, I can’t tag art decider in here, but I can make myself post every day even if all I offer is a whiny admission that brain no worky & a short ramble about a piece of work I like much more than my own.
My plan is to have structured posts sharing a favorite piece of poetry & a quick paragraph or two about how the piece affected me personally; my own daily efforts for the NaPoWriMo program; and if applicable, a quick ramble about other shit I did to pad my camp count.
So without further bullshit, let’s roll into today’s selections…
I’m a barely-cohesive mess at times, but here we go… It’s almost April & Camp NaNoWriMo/National Poetry Writing Month are upon us.
As long as I don’t have another digestive episode* or get the damn virus, I will be writing and weeping along with you all.
I’m going to follow along with NaPoWriMo, continue editing “Created,” & continue working on my non-linear hell trio bit & record my cumulative word count.
I’ve set up my profile on NaNoWriMo & writing buddies are welcomed.
I’m hoping to hit 20k overall. I decided to keep my goal lower than a typical camp run because a) I’m also working on a few art & music projects that I can’t track and b) it’s the middle of a fucking pandemic.