Reconstructing my voice

Fair point.

If you ever get in a conversation with me about music — it will be hard to shut me up. I typically don’t recommend it.

It’s not just fangirling either. I started singing young, participating in competitive vocal events as early as fourth grade. I picked up random instruments here or there (I would really love to get a dulcimer again) but mostly enjoyed singing and writing.

In high school I started having stomach troubles which I shrugged off because I figured it was part of the chronic anxiety & agoraphobia (or drugs I was taking to manage the conditions), but by the time I was in college I was profoundly ill.

Continue reading Reconstructing my voice

Summer break

Tonight is new moon and I am not going to have time to pull and write my quarterly tarot read.

I had an abnormal Litha, spending most of the day shut up in my office writing. I had a 20k word day rewriting and revising two half-ass old manuscripts that I am weaving together with a refreshed, well-developed common lore.

The week was busy in other ways. I was mostly reading. My TBR pile is stupid right now. I have four different novel-length projects I’m in research mode with. And I obviously hate myself because the project I mentioned in the last paragraph’s research list included shit from Schopenhauer, Saint Germain, & anonymous (“The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz”). I think my brain has been officially liquid since about 3 a.m. Saturday morning.

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Quarterly read: Last quarter, June

Even as I scale back & spend more time offline, I want to keep doing these readings.

They’re not generating any hits & nobody else gives a fuck if I do it or not, but it’s fun, it’s relaxing & it’s good practice both at interpreting symbols & building stories. In fact, I’d encourage any writer to do the same.

So without any further hand wringing, we go…

Continue reading Quarterly read: Last quarter, June

Work update / July’s Camp

I want to preface this with another plea for everyone to give what they can to bail funds, BLM funds, medical funds, legal funds, LGBTQ+ funds, etc. right now. I know things are tight for people, but there are also ways you can contribute for free. Here are some resources I’ve found: Bail Funds & Legal Help by City, Homeless Black Trans Women fund, Black Lives Matter on carrd.co, Trans Women Pandemic Medical Fund, Antiracist Allyship Starter Pack (both donos & links to articles, books, & videos). If you’re strapped for cash but want to educate yourself, here’s a free drive resource of black revolutionary works.

I’ve allowed myself to become very emotionally involved in a lot of current events* & there is some guilt when I admit it has really dragged me. Nobody asked me to care & my ability to help has been greatly hindered by both my superpower of emotional overload & living in relative obscurity in the middle of nowhere. So to sum it up, I feel bad & tired & also feel bad about feeling bad & tired.

That said, this is not a huge problem because now is not the time for my shit & there is zero problem with staying quiet.

Continue reading Work update / July’s Camp

Call for submissions

I’ve recently joined the team at Sage Cigarettes Magazine & I’m so stoked to work with them.

Sage Cigarettes is a wonderful, inclusive, witchy, progressive, healing venue for art from creatives of all backgrounds.

We are looking for photography, art, poetry, & prose that explore the current state of the world — quarantine, isolation, civil unrest, anything inspired by the current crises.

We are a paying market. For more details check out our submissions page at sagecigarettes.com/submissions.

Quarterly read: Honey moon

Okay, so this time I wanted to do something different & I just got my first Thoth/Crowley deck so…

Here we have a set of readings that have a very different feel to them — perhaps because I’m deep in the weeds of my own borderline-nihilistic thoughts or perhaps because the new cards gave me new ideas to work with.

Either way, I think I may start to develop some new read styles going forward. I’m really too tapped project-wise to go forward with the Youtube stuff at this time. I’m thinking another month at least. Overall, I’m not in a great spot mentally at this point & shouting into the void via this blog is familiar & comfortable.

So, here are some notes from my previous read post in case you missed it:

In the past I’ve mostly done drunk tarot readings with friends on sabbats. But since we are no longer able to meet up, I plan to offer somewhat sober online readings weekly, by the moon cycle. I’m a little behind as the Flower Moon was actually on the 7th, but I’ll try to be a little early next week.

For me, tarot is super fucking fun. Here are all these random symbols, archetypes & you have to try to weave a story out of it. & sometimes that story functions — like myriad other narratives — as a mirror allowing you to see your own situation from another perspective.

It’s fucking brilliant & I love it, but it’s entertainment, it’s storytelling. While I consider myself a fairly intuitive & empathetic human being, I’m nothing special. I claim no particular talent & in general, I know nothing.

I tend to read in a way that emphasizes positive growth & try to offer a couple of different interpretations to make room for different philosophical or spiritual perspectives. However, I’m not interested in writing a novel-length interpretations, so my advice is to take what best suits you & leave the rest behind.

Note: These readings are very freeform & I’m probably only going to go back through & edit as needed, so if you see a typo or a sentence that does not make sense please let me know. Since I tend to ramble, I will include a TLDR version at the end.

Continue reading Quarterly read: Honey moon